Clear goals in video games are the means by which players know what to do to actually complete the game. While it can be fun to ignore them now and then for some free roaming, an objective is what steers players in the right direction.
Goals can be simple, vague, or in some cases, just plain weird. With LEGO Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga featuring such unusual objectives as “Find an arm surgeon”, “Find out who shot first” and “Dance in rock circles across the galaxy”, it’s time for some other very bizarre things look at Players asked to make their games.
Punch the Reactor – Far Cry: Blood Dragon
One thing almost everyone knows about a nuclear reactor is not to mess with one. Far Cry: Blood Dragon gives players an order to ignore this rule for a glorious moment. Read also : The best video games are also books, such as magic and 80 days. A far cry from the more serious, grounded rest of the series, Far Cry: Blood Dragon is a campy, deliberately over-the-top action romp.
One section of the game has players trying to shut down a nuclear reactor. After fighting through waves of enemies and starting an overload of the reactor, players are told that it needs to be manually overloaded. Cue this ridiculous objective to charge the reactor by hitting it with the protagonists robot hand to give it the last little push.
Survive – Halo: Reach
Truth be told, there’s very little funny about Halo: Reach’s heartbreaking conclusion. See the article : The musical details behind the scenes are best taken care of by the developers themselves! – News. As players are left behind on the titular planet to fight the Covenant forces alone in one of the best missions of the Halo franchise, there is only one thing to do, and that is to fight.
In context, this moment is incredibly effective, showing the final death heroism of the main character. Out of context, though, it’s actually kind of funny. Not only has the goal become a bit of a meme, it’s the equivalent of saying “win, just don’t die”. Unfortunately, this is one objective players are doomed to fail.
Stop the Joker From Gaining Immortality – Batman: Arkham City
Any video game about superheroes will require a certain amount of suspension of disbelief. Batman: Arkham City, however, arguably one of the best superhero games of all time, plays out almost immediately. On the same subject : Top 10 Sandbox Video Games (updated 2022). One of the final goals of the game, however, is just a bizarre series of events.
At the end of the game, Talia al Ghul promises the Joker eternal life for sparing Batman. After Batman escapes, he must then stop this promise from being fulfilled. While it makes sense in the context of the game, and fits well with the character’s abilities and personalities, the prompt on its own is still undeniably cartoony.
Destroy Megatron – Transformers: Fall of Cybertron
Given that most of the Transformers franchise revolves around the heroic Autobots trying to stop the evil Megatron, it stands to reason that he would destroy an objective in a game. In the case of Cybertron, however, the humor is all in the execution.
Instead of this being the objective before facing the final boss, players only get this quest on the third level after taking control of the city-sized Autobot Metroplex. Players stare down at the ant-sized Decepticon and press Melee several times, knocking Megatron more and more into the rubble with each swing. Needless to say, it’s a relatively short fight.
Meow Meow – No More Heroes
No More Heroes was a bloody, action-packed hack and slash game for the Nintendo Wii that everyone should remember, but it wasn’t all swords and showdowns. As players worked their way up through the Assassins, they had to earn the chance to face the next boss.
Between the big boss fights, players had to earn money to buy upgrades, weapons or other things. Even worse, they had to pay in-game money to take on each boss. To do this, players had to take on a variety of part-time jobs, such as mowing lawns or catching escaped cats, in order to raise money for the battles. And video games are supposed to be a break from everyday life.
Shoot This Guy In The Face – Borderlands 2
The Borderlands games are all based around weird over the top violence, and Borderlands 2 took the self-referential nonsense to the next level with an infamous side mission. During the game, players approach an NPC very loudly and ask someone to shoot him in the face.
When players interact with the aptly named “Face McShooty”, they are given a new mission to do exactly what McShooty asks of them. Players can then simply oblige the poor man and complete possibly the easiest mission in the entire game. However, if McShooty is shot anywhere other than the face, he will taunt the player on their poor aim.
Do The Thing – World of Warcraft
World of Warcraft is a huge game full of colorful characters to meet and huge quests to undertake. One thing that players probably didn’t know they could do in Warcraft is to do one of the most incredible missions of all time. In one area of the game, players come across a creature named Pearlhunter Phin.
When players interact with Shin, they are given a mission called “Do the Thing,” and that’s about the extent of the information on how to complete it. The mission description is just incoherent mumbling, but luckily “the thing” is just to collect some resources found right around Phin.
Annoy Squidward – Spongebob Squarepants: Battle For Bikini Bottom
Squidward is often the victim of SpongeBob’s antics in SpongeBob Squarepants, and not always undeservedly. The surprisingly phenomenal, and surprisingly difficult SpongeBob Squarepants: Battle For Bikini Bottom lets players celebrate one of SpongeBob’s favorite holidays in its opening moments.
While exploring the hub area, SpongeBob can enter various buildings and complete tasks to find Golden Spatulas, the main collectible of the game. When players enter Squidward’s house, the only goal is to annoy poor Squiddy, which players can do by jumping around, breaking things, or punching him. Squidward will finally become the spatula in return for being left alone.
Shoot a Hole in Mars – DOOM Eternal
According to a hilarious cutscene in 2016’s DOOM, cyborg scientist Samuel Hayden should have known that Doomguy doesn’t take orders particularly well. This is proven once again in an even bigger way in the sequel DOOM Eternal, in this now legendary line.
Desperate to reach an ancient city, the slayer is told by Hayden that it is buried deep in Mars. Ever resourceful, the Slayer charts a course for the biggest gun in the solar system to make a way there. After Hayden tells players that they’re “not just shooting a hole in the surface of Mars,” an objective pops up to do just that. And sure enough they do.
Don’t S*** Your Pants – Don’t S*** Your Pants
Internet browser games also count as video games, and even with many unusual examples, few can compare to the simple beauty of Don’t S*** Your Pants. A very short game, there is only one objective in the whole game, which is listed in the title.
The players control a man who they say really needs to use the toilet. There are several ways to avoid this tragic fate in “survival horror”, from taking pills to just using a toilet, but it’s actually much funnier to lose and get one of the many funny and thankfully non-graphic games across screens . As far as video game goals go, they don’t get much funnier than “Don’t S*** Your Pants.”
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Any Marvel game where Black Panther is a playable character
Jacob Wallin
(68 articles published)
