The new Netflix show Persuasion, which premiered on Friday, is already taking a lot of hits for its use of anachronistic language. What is the reason? Many of Jane Austen’s adaptations take the path of parody—see Clueless or Fire Island—and have been met with critical acclaim. But while this persuasion mixes Regency-era costumes and 2020s language (a la Sofia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette), it’s a far cry from Taylor Swift-sounding Bridgerton.
Persuasion tools, however, contain the kinds of statements you’d find scattered on an alcoholic mom’s Facebook wall or hear at a sorority pregame, where one of the girls can’t stop complaining in advance. The Netflix movie lost the joy of modern Austen retellings by not being original enough. Yet the film somehow avoids Austen’s spotlight in order to succeed.
“It’s often said that if you’re a ‘5’ in London, you’re a ’10’ in Bath,” one character says, matter-of-factly, near the beginning of the film. This joke is too old even on the internet, where it’s almost certainly stolen, to be posted alongside some of Austen’s most beautiful lines about heartbreak and loss.
Defenders reported the “Austen Police,” who deliberately shot down anything relevant to her books that wasn’t as great as the original books. But even I, someone who has only read a lick of the acclaimed author, but watched the much-loved movies based on her work, felt convinced that it was a shame. If young people discover Austen through persuasion, good. Hopefully, though, it won’t be their favorite take on the story for too long.
On top of the gonzo anachronisms – including “he’s not into you” phrases and Fleabag views – Dakota “The face of someone who knows what an iPhone is” Johnson is the unlikable Anne Elliot, and both her (Cosmo Jarvis as Captain Wentworth and Henry Golding such as Mr. Elliot ) have so little tension that I wish they would throw a real competition in dating. Not really. Still: There have been better actors in these roles. (Sarah Snook, Joel Fry – I will avenge you.)
The dialogue is bad, but then, so is the whole movie. So, like any Jane Austen fan, I thought it was my duty to summarize the worst of Netflix’s persuasion.
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Thirty, Flirty, and Prosperous: When we meet Dakota Johnson‘s Anne Elliot, she tells us she’s “just growing up” — jokingly, because she’s clearly disappearing. Isn’t there a better way to poke fun at her mental state here? “Thriving” is so 2015. That’s not 2022, and not 1817.
Alcohol Mom Warning: From the moment the movie starts, there are moments of alcohol mom available. First, Anne tells us she was dealing with “laying face down on my bed,” drinking too much wine, and taking the hottest baths. OK, girl, give us something! Yes Netflix constantly praises alcohol as “self care!” Later, Anne’s sister asked her how she would dance to Beethoven. On the same subject : The Gray Man: Why Netflix (NFLX) Sells $ 200 Million Ryan Gosling Film. “Alone, in my room, a bottle of pink,” she sighs. Again, a mother of wine dated nowhere in 2022 or 1817—or, indeed, ever.
He’s not the one for you: “I don’t think she’s his type,” another girl gushes to Anne. I don’t remember what or who this was about, but this statement made me angry. We are not going into “types” of Jane Austen’s film.
She’s 10 but she loves persuasion (2022): As mentioned above, there’s “If you’re 5 in London, you’re 10 in Bath” taking over. What we don’t see is the fact that the film doubles down on this joke. Later, while talking about Mr. Elliot, Anne said, “It’s a 10. I can never trust a 10.” It wasn’t funny the first time, but the second time, I laughed – just how bonkers the straight talk was.
Cut to the Music: The film’s score—composed by Rupert Coulson—isn’t fun or entertaining, nor is it dramatic or sad. It sounds like the buzzing sounds you’d hear at a Great Britain Baking Show: light, airy, unfocused, and suddenly, over the top when a little drama happens. It’s either very much in line with the story, or out of it altogether, nose-diving into the baking tent of about two centuries ago.
“I’m an Empath!” Anne’s sister, Mary (Mia McKenna-Bruce), cries, talking about not being able to spend time with her children if they are sick. “Empath” belongs to TikTok and Twitter, and barely that. It’s not the season of Government!
Drunk Mom: “Fine,” Anne tells us directly, Fleabag-style, as she takes a sip of wine, upset about how her life is playing out after a long day. Poor Anne. (And poor us.)
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Sorority Girl Grieving Her Pre-Game Breakup: “We’re sorry strangers. We’re exes,” Anne told the audience, breaking things down for Wentworth. This may interest you : 7 best new movies on Amazon Prime Video in July 2022. Later: “Now, we’re sorry exes. We’re friends.” Did the writers forget to define the best quotes while reading Persuasion in preparation for the film? Is that why they came up with these embarrassing quotes?
Self Care: Anne’s sister, who is probably tied for Anne’s ranking of the most interesting quotes, is trying to improve herself. “How do I prioritize taking care of myself when everyone around me is constantly demanding my attention?” she asked. I love the sentiment of this quote, but oh my god, give up some “self-care”, especially in a time when such a concept doesn’t exist. Mother’s drinking is enough.
The Sorority Girl pregame continues: “You’ll get together, and you’ll be happy again!” Anne screams at herself near the middle of the movie—but maybe, in her mind, she’s really in the bathroom at a frat party, looking at herself in the mirror and holding the White Claw.
The final wink: The Fleabag of all, in Persuasion, is very fragile. By that, I don’t just mean the brown-haired British girl mopery and sex drama; The whole movie is indirectly breaking the fourth wall. Sometimes, Anne breaks the fourth wall with every other sentence. Then, for half an hour, she’ll pretend I’m not here. There is no purpose to this gimmick. It doesn’t improve the story in any way; But it’s just a trick used to attract Fleabag fans (like myself).
But in the end, Persuasion leads to one of the worst things. As she’s face-sucking her final choice between suitors—and yes, Anne uses the term “face-sucking” in the movie—Anne looks back at us. It’s terrifying. Shocking. I had to turn off the movie 10 seconds before the credits started playing.
