Lately our 6 year old, Arthur, has been insisting on having his bedtime story “Pig the Elf” by Aaron Blabey, a children’s book about a pug named Pig. It’s a Christmas story about a greedy dog who has an absurdly long wish list for Santa, especially compared to his friend Trevor, a non-greedy dog who just wants something good for Christmas.
Pig, however, has an almost endless list of requests. At Christmas, Pig is finally disappointed with what Santa brings, so he takes revenge by biting Santa on the ass as he walks back up the chimney (see why a 6 year old likes this story?) In the end, we finally get there to see how ridiculous it was on this list, and it has everything from unicorns to skateboards to live animals, treats, tools, invisibility and fake poop.
While Trevor is the hero of the story, I’m going to channel my inner Pig here, (don’t worry, Arthur won’t be reading this) and compile my long (mostly sports) Christmas list for it. year.
Dear Father, this Christmas, I WANT:
Instead of, say, gambling $11 million on a guy who hit .160 last year (which they did just by signing Joey Gallo), the Twins should have invested whatever it took to land Correa. Players like him don’t come around while still in their 20s very often, and when they do they rarely have interest in Minnesota. Correa was willing to retire there, and the Twins balked because they’d rather throw that money at three or four mediocre free agents than a generational player they know they can count on. Fix this, Santa.
This year would be great, but I mean, like, never. I really thought that Mike Zimmer would be the guy to finally take the Vikings to the promised land, but when they failed following the Minneapolis Miracle (with a chance to play the Super Bowl on their home field), it was almost over for Uncle Mike . .
I wasn’t sure what to expect from Kevin O’Connell, but the rookie coach is making a good first impression. The Vikings don’t look like a true Super Bowl contender, winning so many close ones by the skin of their teeth, but division titles still make the season. I mean, there are other teams out there that fans have to get excited about fighting for a Wild Card spot every five years. I hope this is the start of something good for this damn franchise. Right Santa?
Our local minor league baseball team will always have a special place in the hearts of many in my generation who were kids when the franchise arrived and have seen the ups and downs (mostly lows) over the last three decades.
Seeing the team floundering on the field and at the gate again last year was sad. New ownership is proof (though ticket prices may be an idea worth considering at this point), but it’s an uphill battle in a league now populated by major markets. Maybe you can at least give the Birds some nice weekend weather this summer, Santa.
You know that one. I don’t even want to say the title out loud, lest you put its obnoxious melody and foul lyrics on a loop in your head. Just make it go. Forever. If you have any Christmas music fans on your list, give them “A Christmas Kind of Town” by Marah. It’s a great Christmas album.
A star quarterback has suffered a serious injury in each of the last two national championship games played at Toyota Stadium — South Dakota State’s Mark Gronowski and Montana State’s Tommy Mellott. Wet and slippery conditions on the often muddy grass surface was a factor, and both teams lost the game.
How about sunshine and 50 degrees this year, Santa? It’s NDSU vs. SDSU, the game we’ve all been waiting for. We have a clean and safe playing surface.
Seriously, Dad, this has been making me irrationally angry for years. I looked up all the tricks on YouTube. Also fix my snowblower.
Tucker is a great player and a fun guy – the guy made sure to enjoy his time as a college football star, even accepting big NIL money from major colleges to stay at SDSU. The last great SDSU tight end, Dallas Goedert, has become one of the best in the NFL, and in retrospect should have been a first-round pick. Santa, did you see Tucker play. Tell me he’s not a 1st rounder.
Inflation is through the roof. People live paycheck to paycheck. What a great time to force the owners to “repair” the bumps on their sidewalks that are no higher than the sole of their shoe (this is a thing that happens). This will be cost prohibitive for a few people I know, all for a supposed “tripping hazard”. That’s a real shame, Santa. Maybe you can do something.
I mean, yes, I’m a bitter Vikings fan, but isn’t anyone a little sick of this guy at this point? He doesn’t seem like he’s enjoying himself at all, and the way he looks and talks in those press conferences… I’m a little worried about him. And no, Dad, I don’t want the Vikings to sign him when he’s 41.
You probably remember Michael Orris. He hit arguably the biggest shot in South Dakota State Division I basketball history – the game-winning jumper in the Summit League tournament semifinal against USD in 2017. He propelled the Jackrabbits to the NCAA tournament in his first season under T.J. Otzelberger (now the coach at Iowa State).
Well, tragedy struck the Orris family just before Christmas. His wife, Kierra, the mother of his two children, died of a sudden illness at 33. It’s heartbreaking, Santa. Orris, now an assistant coach at the University of Mary, was one of the nicest and kindest people I’ve ever met, and a guy who fought through an awful lot of adversity to get where he did playing at danced pro for a while). A GoFundMe for the Orris family has already raised more than $50,000 – people can give here.
